I’ve written two novels, one of which I’ve revised a few times already (and the other is a mess, but I’ll get to it eventually). The process of revising has taught me that I work a lot easier with material that already exists. Pulling new things out of my head in some kind of organized, decisive fashion seems more difficult than it should be.
Take the sequel I’m trying to write, for instance. Pushed out 20k words of amazingness while I had the drive and then got distracted by revisions on the original (to give myself credit, there were some major things I wanted to change in #1 that would have made a huge difference in how things progressed with #2. Already updated you guys on that one, though).
Then I tried again. Started an outline, even. The outline covered at least half the storyline. Should have been easy to follow, right? Hahaha. Another 20k words in and I stopped again.
Now I’m on the third attempt. Writing anything new in it is killing me. I know the general outcome of the story. That’s not the issue. The issue is that, past a certain point, I’m not entirely sure how I want to get there, and there are some scenes in both draft attempts that I’d like to smoosh together in order to make beautiful scene babies.
How do I want to proceed with this character? How is that one going to affect my protagonist? Do I want this guy in the story, or that one? Dafuq would happen if they were both there? Who is going to be present at the critical moment of my protag’s transformation? How the hell is that transformation going to go? Because this could totally happen, or it could all go completely wrong and that happens. I can imagine lots of different variances in my storyline, and all of them look equally appealing to me. The problem is they don’t mesh well. Some of them are complete opposites.
BRAIN, WHY YOU GOTTA BE SO INDECISIVE?
Ugh. It’s times like this I doubt my ability to be a dedicated writer. I’m a voracious reader, and I know all too well the frustration of waiting for the next book in a series to appear. I don’t want to be one of those writers that makes people wait too long. I don’t have the following and fan loyalty to get away with it. Though I also know that doubt is part of what holds me back.
I gotta get out of this funk, y’all. Think some rawr motivation thoughts at me. Grr, argh, flex! Screw you, brain stickies.