Hate So Good
I was recently catching up on season 2 of Game of Thrones, and was reminded of a phenomenon that only occurs with a few chosen fictional characters.
There are some characters that are so realistic and loathsome in their actions that I get unreasonably angry. Like, I will be snappy and irritated for days afterward. What characters do this to me, you ask? Here are my top three:
1. King Joffrey Baratheon/Lannister
Anyone that has seen or read Game of Thrones almost certainly knows the reason why I dislike him. He’s beyond cruel, and he’s a spoiled little brat. Combined with the power of being King (at like 16 or whatever) he’s nigh on unstoppable. I have a pretty vivid imagination, so I already disliked him in the books, but putting him on screen just tipped me over the edge. I can’t stand him. And if he’s like that as a teenager, my blood boils at the potential he has as an adult.
Defining moment: Tyrion was trying to be the most awesome uncle ever and send him a present of joyful sex in the form of 2 hired concubines. What does Joffrey do? Has one girl savagely beat the other, with the stipulation that if she doesn’t, she’ll get the same treatment. He does this as a message to his uncle. Dafuq? I also had a sneaking suspicion that he was more turned on by the cruelty than the two naked chicks. Kid had no emotion while he watched it. None.
You know that giant asshole in the prison guard from The Green Mile? That guy. I can’t even watch that movie anymore because he makes me so angry I can’t see straight.
Defining moment: You’re supposed to wet the sponge they put under the helmet for the electric chair. This is so the prisoners die quickly and it doesn’t get messy. Percy does not wet the sponge ON PURPOSE, because he wants to see what happens as a result. He does a lot of other shitty stuff, but that one makes me cry and makes me want to punch someone all at the same time.
3. Dolores Umbridge
I can’t lie, I was waiting for something super horrible to happen to this woman in the Harry Potter series. I kept reading and reading, thinking “surely, someone is going to kill her off soon.” Nope. So then I had to keep reading about her, and I kept getting angry every time she appeared in a chapter. She doesn’t make me as angry as Joffrey or Percy, but she’s definitely up there. The thing that makes me angry is her blind conviction that this or that is the right thing, and anything else is wrong, wrong, wrong.
Defining moment: Not a big one, mind you, but it’s one of the very first things she does. I can’t even remember the reason why now, but she had Harry Potter write something like “I will not tell lies,” which doesn’t sound so bad, except that the pen was spelled to carve whatever he was writing into his hand. He had to write it over and over again until his hand was bleeding. And she smiled the whole time.
Do you get this emotional over certain characters? Who do you love to hate?